When it comes to personal development, our culture often celebrates those who are self-assured or self-confident. But new research suggests that self-compassion might be a better way to approach success and personal development. For instance, self-confidence makes you feel better about your abilities, while self-compassion encourages you to acknowledge your flaws and limitations. And once you acknowledge and accept your flaws, you are more likely to view them objectively and realistically. This, in turn, can lead to positive changes in your life.
了解自我同情
从佛教心理学中汲取的,自同情是不一样的万博maxbetx官网登陆自尊心or self-confidence. Instead of a way of thinking about yourself, it is a way of being or a way of treating yourself. In fact, according to Dr. Kristin Neff, a psychology professor at the University of Texas, self-compassion involves treating yourself just like you would treat your friends or family members even when they fail or screw up. In general, self-compassion involves accepting that you are human and that you make mistakes. It also means you do not dwell on those mistakes or beat yourself up for making them.
Dr. Neff was the first person to measure and define self-compassion and offers a number of冥想that can be used to improve your self-compassion skills. For instance, she also offers several self-compassion exercises you can engage in including深情的呼吸andloving-kindness meditation。
自我同情的主要成分
遵循自我同情的练习时,有几个主要成分对其成功至关重要。这些包括善待自己,就像你一样对朋友;注意你真的是谁,瑕疵和所有;并允许自己自由不完美。以下是自我同情的主要组件概述。
自我善良
当你练习自我善良时,你认识到所有人都是不完善的,所有人都有不完善的生活。当事情出错而不是批评时,你对自己善待。例如,当出现问题时,Neff博士说你的第一次反应可能是认为“这不应该发生。”或者,你可能会思考:“我不应该在我的生命中出现这个问题。其他人都生活得很开心,正常生活。”
凭借负面或不友好的思考,您可能会遇到额外的痛苦,因为它让您感到孤立,单独和与其他人不同。
但是,具有自我善良,而不是思考“可怜的我”,你认为“好每个人都偶尔失败了。”你承认每个人都有问题和斗争,因为这就是成为人类的意义。当您开始思考时,它会改变您查看生活的挑战和困难的方式。为您打开大门,让您从经验中增长。但如果你觉得它是异常的,或者应该不会发生,那么你开始从事自责。
介意
Another component of self-compassion ismindfulness。When you are mindful, you have to be willing to face your pain and suffering and acknowledge it. Most people do not want to do that. In fact, they usually want to avoid it. They want to avoid the pain and go straight toproblem-solving。But when life throws you a curveball, it is important that you take the time to be mindful of how those struggles or failures make you feel and why they might have happened. When you are able to do that, you are much more likely to grow and learn from the situation.
另一件你需要to be mindful of is your inner critic. Self-criticism can be very defeating and often plays on repeat in our minds. But mindfulness allows you to be aware of your shortcomings without passing judgment on yourself. The result is that you will recognize where you need improvement without the pressure of being superhuman.
不完美
Once you can accept that it is unrealistic to expectperfection,它会感觉像肩膀抬起巨大的重量。它还有助于您意识到您所在的遇到正常和人类,而且您不应该对此感觉不好。此外,认识到您的缺陷也可以帮助您感觉更加与他人相连,因为您意识到每个人都经历艰辛和困难。
请记住,自我同情是关于善待自己,实现人类不完美,包括你。这也需要承认这是可以完美的。你的缺陷和挫折应该帮助你更好地了解自己,不要让你强调或对你是谁感到难过。
Benefits of Self-Compassion
总的来说,自我同情涉及认识到做出糟糕选择和一个坏人之间的差异。当你练习自我同情心时,你明白做出不良决策并没有自动让你成为一个坏人。相反,您认识到您的价值和价值是无条件的。事实上,研究一直展现了自我同情和整体福祉之间的积极联系。此外,自我同情提供了自我价值感。但不在自恋way like self-confidence can at times.
更重要的是,练习自我同情的人也有更多的社会联系,更高emotional intelligence那and greater overall satisfaction with life. They also are more caring, supportive andempathetic。
Meanwhile, research shows that people are self-compassionate have lessanxiety那depression那and fear of failure. Research also shows that self-compassion can be a motivator causing people to improve on their mistakes, failures or shortcomings because they view them more objectively.
来自粗糙的一个词
在自我同情心的时候,你需要解决的第一件事就是你头脑中的声音不断批评你。很多次,那种声音太关键了。例如,您可以为每个小错误击败自己。要更加自我同情心,你需要认识到这种声音并在落地时纠正它。这并不意味着你告诉自己你有多伟大。相反,你以一种善良,非赦免方式与自己交谈 - 这就是你鼓励亲人的方式。当你这样做时,生活会变得更加可控。