无论您是在工作,与家人共进晚餐,还是坐在沙发上,其他人都坐在沙发上,每个人都经历了一次或其他人被打断。你甚至可能自己犯了罪。
虽然在你说话的时候偶尔中断可能会令人讨厌,但它可能并不是真正在事物的宏伟方案中阶段。但是,如果你正在处理慢性的中断球,那就是一个完全不同的故事。持续的中断可以开始对你的关系造成严重破坏 - 特别是如果您觉得自己永远不会完成思考。
为什么人们打断别人
面对现实吧。每个人都想觉得听到。如果你觉得自己不是,那么它可以开始侵蚀这种关系。毕竟,同一个人的一致中断不仅感觉到一个缺少尊重for you and your thoughts, but they also demonstrate apparent自我中心. Interruptions also can make you feel insignificant and unimportant—that what you are trying to say isn't worthy of being listened to.
Some tendencies to interrupt stem from cultural differences and family backgrounds. Interrupting just seems natural to them. Meanwhile, other interrupters are impatient, goal-driven people who like to get straight to the point. And their way of making that happen is to interrupt and usurp the control in the conversation.
有些人中断,因为他们对你所说的是如此兴奋,直到你完成贡献他们的想法和感受。
同样,许多慢性中断人员不知道他们甚至这样做。对他们来说,中断别人是谈话有趣和动态的原因。
Interestingly, men interrupt women more than they interrupt men. For instance, a study from George Washington University found that men interrupted women 33% more often than they did other men. According to the researchers, during a three-minute conversation, men interrupted women 2.1 times. By contrast, when speaking with men for the same length of time, they only interrupted 1.8 times. Meanwhile, women on average only interrupted men once.
But regardless of gender or who is doing the interrupting, the reality is that at the moment when an interruption occurs, the interrupter is communicating that their question—or what they have to say—takes precedence over your thoughts and opinions.
Additionally, whether they are aware of it or not, chronic interrupters are asserting their power, their knowledge, and their ideas at your expense. And in extreme situations, interrupting can be anything but altruistic. In fact, interruption is often a tactic used byemotionally abusive peoplewho use it as a way to assert dominance and control. For this reason, it's important to know how to handle interruptions with grace and dignity and still be able to get your point across.
如何应对慢性中断器
The reality is that there are only so many interruptions a discussion can take before it ceases to be a discussion. For this reason, chronic interruptions are conversation killers that disrupt ahealthy exchange of information. After all, if everyone is talking, then no one is listening.
Consequently, it is important you know how to handle frequent interruptions before they completely erode your relationship or your work environment. Here are some tips for dealing with chronic interrupters in your life.
在你开始说话之前解决它
如果您的慢性断续器是同事,可能会在发生中断之前有助于解决中断。例如,在给出演示文稿之前,您可以预览您打算说和规定什么时候会提出问题或闯入的好时机。
如果人们在谈话时进行中断,您可以提醒他们,他们将有一个点为几分钟提出问题或发表评论。
当然,您可能能够通过说出类似的伙伴与合作伙伴一起使用同样的策略,“这个故事有很多不同的部分;所以忍受了我。我希望你能够在你面前掌握整张照片问问题,好吗?“
Discuss the Interruptions During a Neutral Time
无论您的慢性接收器是否都是您的员工或您的伴侣在家的人,这是一个很好的主意,当您两个都平静和客观时,讨论中断。与你经历的人交谈并解释它如何影响你using "I" statements而不是指责手指或指控。
给予克里普特对疑问的好处也很重要。有些人根本没有意识到他们尽可能地中断。并且,如果您客观地框架思考,它更有可能产生行为变革。
决定如何处理未来的中断
一旦你有一个或两个讨论chronic interruptions, you need to think about how you will respond when it happens again—because it will. No one can change a pattern of behavior instantaneously.
结果,当您将来中断时,您有几个选项。例如,您可以忽略中断并保持谈话;你可以完全停止谈话,或者你可以问“我可以完成吗?”然后继续。如果你愿意,你甚至可以远离对话。
关键是你提前准备好如何处理中断,保持焦点,而不是让他们转移你。如果您允许中断员劫持谈话,则无法阻止他们正在做的事情的动机。当他们中断时,它们仍然得到他们想要的东西。
Consider Your Own Communication Style
Take a good, hard look at how you communicate. Do you share long, drawn-out stories? Could you be succinct and to-the-point? Perhaps your沟通style could be changed or improved to deter interruptions in some way, especially if you tend to monopolize the conversation.
对您的通信风格的Intervupter开放,也可以开放反馈。可能是你被打断了,因为你没有给其他人分享他们的想法。它还有助于拥有confidence当你在说话。当你与权威说话时,人们不太可能打断。
A Word From Verywell
Be patient as you work through interruption issues. Changing behavior and communication styles takes time. But with persistence and patience, you might be able to have more balanced and effective conversations. After all, everyone in the conversation benefits when people feel heard.