如何改变你和心理治疗师萝莉·戈特利布之间的故事

Subscribe Now:Apple Podcasts/点化/谷歌播客/RSS

治疗师经常以专家的身份分享他们的经验。他们从他们的治疗办公室谈论案例研究，讨论治疗抑郁症等疾病的最佳方法。

当心理医生Lori Gottliebdoes share her wisdom in the traditional sense, she also goes a step further. She shares her personal experiences from the other side of the couch—as a therapy client.

在她广受欢迎的书中，Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, she describes what happens to her when she begins to see a therapist. She gives us a bird’s eye view of her treatment while also chronicling the lives of several patients whom she treats. She makes it clear that everyone, including experts, could benefit from having someone to talk to.

洛莉为《大西洋月刊》写了一篇专栏文章，名为《亲爱的治疗师》，她回答读者关于悲伤和边界问题的各种问题。她还是“亲爱的治疗师”播客的主持人，在播客中，她和其他治疗师盖伊·温奇（Guy Winch）为分享他们奋斗历程的人们提供空中指导。

During on conversation on Mentally Strong People, Lori shared a lot of tips about how to change the narrative in your head—a key factor in building mental strength. Someone who believes they’re unlovable, for example, might benefit from learning that they simply chose partners that weren’t right for them. Here are three of the strategies she shared that can help you grow mentally stronger.

Allow Yourself to Experience Pain, But Don’t Inflict Suffering

萝莉讲述了她自己的痛苦经历。当她男朋友和她分手时，她经历了痛苦。但是，她造成了痛苦，因为她坚持在社交媒体上“谷歌跟踪”他。她的治疗师帮助她了解到，在网上监视他的活动是如何让她暂时松了一口气，但从长远来看却让她感觉更糟。

如果她想继续生活，就得让自己伤心。那就意味着不去看她前男友在干什么。如果她想继续生活，就必须让自己感到悲伤、孤独和受伤。

My Take

It’s likely that we all have inflicted suffering on ourselves at one time or another. But it’s hard to recognize when we’re in the moment.

退一步每隔一段时间,请注意what habits might not be serving you well. What do you reach for when you’re stressed out, anxious, or sad? Habits like eating too much, drinking too much, or spending too much might make you feel good for a minute while also causing bigger problems in the long-term.

If you discover you’re doing some unhealthy things, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, look for healthier strategies to help you move through painful emotions so you can heal.

问问你的想法是善良的、真实的还是有用的

萝莉谈了很多关于自我同情的重要性。善待自己使我们更容易向别人敞开心扉。

她鼓励人们扪心自问，自己的想法是善良的、真实的还是有用的。如果没有，改变你内心的对话很重要。

My Take

治疗师经常使用“理性”和“非理性”思维的临床术语。有时，这些术语听起来会让人困惑，让人感觉难以忍受。询问你的想法是善良的，真实的还是有用的是一个简单而有效的方法来评估你的想法。

如果你的想法不善良、不真实或不有用，你可以用更健康的评论来回应。你也可以选择不给他们太多的权力在你的生活。所以下次你感觉不好的时候，想想你脑子里在想什么。然后扪心自问，这些想法是善良的、真实的还是有用的？

与某人交谈

萝莉说，当她开始看心理医生时，她就开始痊愈了。她描述了她的治疗客户在和她交谈时是如何开始改变的。他们中的一些人改变了他们的行为。其他人改变了他们对自己的看法。

虽然不是每个人都需要看心理医生，但朋友并不总是一个好的替代品。萝莉区分了“明智的同情心”和“白痴的同情心”。本质上，你的朋友可能只会说他们认为你想听的话。然而，治疗师可以给你更客观的反馈。

但萝莉明确表示，并不是每个人都需要看心理医生。有时候，仅仅和朋友或家人聊天就足以让你感觉好些。

My Take

As a fellow therapist, I wholeheartedly agree. Sometimes, we just need the courage to open up to someone and tell them how we’re feeling, what we’re doing, or what we’re thinking.

Being heard and not judged by someone might help us begin to heal. A listener might also be able to offer kind words that help drown out some of your negative thoughts. Or, you might discover that you’re not alone in the way you feel.

If you’re struggling with something, talk to someone. Whether you choose to open to a friend or family member, or you reach out to a professional, talking through things might really help.

More About the Podcast

The Verywell Mind Podcast可跨所有流媒体平台使用。如果你喜欢这个节目，请给我们留下一个苹果播客评论.

Reviews and ratings are a great way to encourage other people to listen and help them prioritize their mental health too.