Secrets to Being Confident With Best-Selling Author Heather Monahan

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Heather Monahanis the author ofConfidence Creatorand host of theCreating Confidencepodcast.

She’s also a keynote speaker and founder of Boss in Heels. Before becoming an entrepreneur, she spent nearly 20 years climbing the corporate ladder. She won the Glass Ceiling Award after being named the Chief Revenue Officer in Media, and she was named one of the most Influential Women in Radio in 2017.

While Heather feels confident now, she didn’t always feel this way. At one point, she was fired from her job, and her confidence took a major hit. But she developed strategies that helped squash herself-doubt.

同时为重击Heather共享很多策略oping confidence and building mental strength onThe Verywell Mind Podcast, here are three of my favorite tips:

Use empowering language.

Heather talked about how the language you use sends a powerful message to those around you. She used to make jokes about having a “blonde moment” and apologize for things that weren’t her fault. But she realized that talking down to herself caused other people to assume she didn’t deserve respect.

When she changed the language she used, people treated her differently. She encourages other people to empower themselves by changing their language too.

My Take

You might think you’re cutting the tension with self-deprecating humor or that you’re being humble by saying negative things about yourself. Butundercutting yourselfalso sends a strong message to people around you.

While it’s important to own your mistakes, don’t apologize for being you. And while it’s good to avoid taking yourself too seriously, putting yourself down sends a message that it’s OK for others to do the same.

Channel your alter ego.

Heather said that whenever she enters into a situation where she wants to act a certain way, she channels someone she thinks would handle the situation well. She might ask herself, “What would my calm friend do in a situation like this?” or “How would my confident friend respond to this?”

Then, she acts like that person. She also made it clear that she doesn’t necessarily have to know the person to make this effective. She can channel a character from a movie, a famous person, or even a superhero.

My Take

Channeling someone else can help you step outside your comfort zone. But it doesn’t mean you have to act in a fake manner. Instead, you might simply show a side of yourself that you don’t normally show. And when you change your behavior, the feelings follow.

When you act confidently, you might feel as if you're more confident. Or when you act calmly, you might feel as though you're calmer. So channel someone who can help you get through a difficult situation, and you’ll likely find it helps you to do your best.

Shine a light on shame.

Heather talked a lot about our tendency to try to hide things we’re ashamed of—like an abusive past or a certain aspect of our lives we think others won’t agree with. But hiding the things we’re ashamed of takes a lot of energy and causes us to feel powerless.

Heather said that when she has shared things she was ashamed of, she found people could often relate to what she experienced. And by sharing her story, she sometimes helped them share their own stories too.

My Take

Keepingshameful secretswill take a serious toll on your mental health. Knowing that it’s OK to talk about these things can help you feel better.

This doesn’t mean you have to tell everyone all the details of your life. You can still be a private person. Shedding a light on shame just means you’re in control of who you share your story with as well as when and how you choose to do so.

More About the Podcast

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Reviews and ratings are a great way to encourage other people to listen and help them prioritize their mental health too.