10应付失败的健康方式

Whether you were denied a promotion at the office or you failed to qualify for a marathon, failing feels bad. Many people will go to great lengths to avoid failing so they don’t have to feel painfulemotions.

Knowing how to cope with failure in a healthy way takes some of the fear out of failing—and it might reduce the pain so you can bounce back better than before. Here are 10 healthy ways to cope with failure.

1

Embrace Your Emotions

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失败伴随着各种情绪;尴尬,焦虑,愤怒,悲伤,羞耻地说出一些。那些感情是不舒服的,很多人都会做任何事情,他们可以逃避感受情绪不适。

发表的2017年研究Journal of Behavioral Decision Makingsays you shouldn’t try to sluff off feeling bad after failure. Researchers discovered that thinking about your emotions—rather than the failure itself—is most helpful.

Allowing yourself to feel bad is motivating. It can help you work harder to find better solutions so that you’ll improve next time.

所以,继续拥抱你的情绪。承认你的感受,让自己感到难过。标记你的情绪并让自己体验它们。

2

认识到不健康的尝试减少疼痛

你可能很想说,“无论如何,我实际上并没有,”但最大限度地减少你的痛苦不会让它消失。分散自己的注意力或用食物填补你的感受, drugs, oralcohol也不会治愈你的痛苦。这些事情只会为您提供一些暂时的浮雕。

Recognize the unhealthy ways you try to avoid or minimize pain in your life. Turning to coping skills that do more harm than good will only make your situation worse.

3

练习健康的应对技巧

Calling a friend, practicing deep breathing, taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, or playing with your pet are just a few examples of healthy coping skills. Not every coping skill works for everyone, however, so it’s important to find coping skills that will work for you.

如果你在习惯于习惯的习惯时挣扎,当你强调的吸烟或吃垃圾食品 - 创造一个健康的应对技巧列表并将其悬挂在一个突出的地方。然后,使用您的列表提醒您当您感觉不好时,您可以转向更健康的策略。

4

承认对失败的非理性信念

您可能在生命中的某些方面发表了一些关于失败的非理性信念。也许你认为失败意味着你很糟糕,或者你永远不会成功。或者你认为如果你失败,你认为没有人会喜欢你。

Those types of beliefs are inaccurate. And they can prevent you from doing things where you might fail.

5

培养关于失败的现实思考

2010年研究发表在食欲found that people were more likely to sabotage themselves when they were convinced a mistake made them a total failure.

在一个实验中,被喂食披萨的节食师被告知他们完全吹饮食。那些认为他们完全失败的人立即比不节食的人更多地吃了50%的饼干。

When you find yourself thinking that you’re a hopeless cause or that there’s no use in trying again, reframe your thoughts. Remind yourself of more realistic thoughts about failure such as:

  • 失败是一个迹象,即我挑战自己做一些困难的事情
  • 我可以处理失败。
  • I can learn from my failures.

您可能需要对自己重复一句话或肯定,以抵御消极的想法或加强自己可以反弹的人。

6

Accept an Appropriate Level of Responsibility

It’s important to accept an accurate level of responsibility for your failure. Taking on too much responsibility may cause you to unnecessarily blame yourself. On the other hand, blaming other people or unfortunate circumstances on your failure will prevent you from learning from it.

当你想到你的失败时,寻找解释,而不是借口。确定您失败的原因,并确认下次可以不同的原因。

7

Research Famous Failures

从托马斯爱迪生到沃尔特迪斯尼,没有着名的失败。花一些时间研究失败的名人。你可能会发现他们失败了很多次。

Many successful people continue to fail regularly. Actors get rejected for roles, athletes get cut from the team, and business owners get turned down for deals.

研究他们从失败中反弹的东西。您可以学习可以帮助您自己生活的技能。

8

问问自己你可以学到的东西

如果您对学习开放,则失败可能是一位伟大的老师。你弄错了吗?你做了一系列的错误吗?

考虑下次你可以做些什么。然后,您将确保您的失败已成为帮助您学习某事的生命课程。

9

Create a Plan for Moving Forward

一遍又一遍又一遍地重播你的失败不会有任何好处。不要让自己ruminateon all the things that went wrong. Dwelling on your problems or rehashing your mistakes will keep you stuck.

相反,请考虑下次你会做些什么。创建一个帮助您将您获得的信息放入实践中的计划。

10

面对你对失败的恐惧

If you’ve spent most of your life avoiding failure, it can feel really scary when it finally happens. Facing your fears, however, can be the key to reducing the discomfort.

练习踩到你的舒适区。做可能让你拒绝或尝试你可能失败的新事物的事情。随着时间的推移,你会知道失败并不像你想象的那么糟糕。

A Word From Verywell

年代ometimes, failure becomes debilitating. If you’re struggling to function after you’ve failed at something, consider seeking professional help.

无论您是否经历过婚姻或在业务中失败,与心理健康专业人员交谈可以帮助您回弹。万博手机客户端

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  2. POLIVY J,Herman C,DEO R.得到一个更大的馅饼。对克制和无拘无束的食物进食和情感的影响.食欲. 2010;55(3):426-430. doi:10.1016/j.appet.2010.07.015