如何处理您在Covid-19大流行期间感受到的内疚

Guilt is a powerful emotion. And when left unchecked, guilty feelings can lead to some not-so-healthy actions.

If you feel guilty during theCOVID-19 pandemic, you’re not alone. There’s something about an international crisis that seems to lead to lots of guilt.

Whether you feel guilty that you’re sending your kids to daycare while you continue to work from home or you’re feeling guilty that you aren’t helping other people as much as you think you could be, recognizing how to deal with that guilt in a healthy way is essential to your well-being.

你可能会感到内疚的事情

在大流行期间，有些人感到内疚，因为他们做得很好。其他人感到内疚，因为他们并不是他们认为应该是。有些人几乎感到内疚。

以下是某些人在此期间有些人可能感到内疚的原因。

你的生活在隔离中更好

For some people, being quarantined and perhaps working from home has increased their quality of life. Some of your guilty thoughts may sound like this:

• I feel guilty that my life is actually better during quarantine.
• I feel guilty because I can work from home and others have lost their jobs.
• 我感到内疚，因为我现在比以前更多的钱。
• 我感到内疚，因为我现在很开心，其他人都在痛苦。

Your Kids and Family Have Been Affected

Many people are feeling lonely because they are unable to visit friends and family. Those with children may feel especially guilty because they've noticed that their kids are being negatively affected. You may have thoughts like:

• 我觉得我让我的孩子有太多的屏幕时间，因为我可以告诉他们很无聊。
• 我觉得有罪我在白天没有和孩子一起玩。
• 我觉得我的父母现在看不到我的孩子。
• 因为我的孩子们似乎悲惨，我被摧毁了。
• 我觉得很糟糕，我不能在养老院拜访我的父母。

你无法帮助他人

Because of social distancing rules, it has become much more difficult to assist those who are in need of help during this time. You might be making less money so you may not be able to support those you care about. Because of this, it's easy to be overwhelmed with guilty feelings:

• I feel awful that I am not doing more to help other people.
• 我觉得我的收入被削减了，我的家人不会有多少钱。
• 我觉得很糟糕，我再也不能照顾我的老年父母，而不会使他们有风险。

你做过或没有遵循社会疏远规则

在大流行开始时，您可能没有遵循社会疏散规则，并感到内疚。也许你甚至感到内疚，因为你一直遵守所有规则并错过了重要事件。你的想法可能听起来像这样：

• I feel bad I didn’t wear a mask in public at first.
• 我觉得我参加了社交聚会。
• I feel bad that I didn’t attend a funeral because I wanted to social distance.

It's important to remember that so many people are having these exact thoughts right now. So, it's a good idea to remind yourself that you are not alone in this experience.

Why You Might Feel More Guilty Now

你可能会感到内疚的事情可能会继续下去。对于许多人来说，有很多东西可以感到难过 - 无论你在努力还是做得很好。

Here are several reasons why people experience more guilt during the pandemic.

People Are Suffering

When you turn on the news or read the latest headlines, you’ll see that people are experiencing physical illness,mental health problems, and经济困难。And many people are grieving the loss of their loved ones.

If you’re not suffering as much as other people, you might experience guilt that you’re doing OK—similar to the way survivors of an accident may experiencesurvivor’s guilt如果别人失去了生命。

This may be especially true if you’re doing better than usual right now. Whether your economic situation has improved or you’re better off working remotely, you might feel bad that you’re somehow doing better while others are suffering more.

其他People Might Shame You

If you share any good news—like you got a promotion or you celebrated a birthday—other people may be quick to remind you that you shouldn’t talk about it during the pandemic.

Whether someone replies to your social media post #tonedeaf or someone questions how you could possibly be happy at a time like this, you might be shamed for your good fortune—or even for being in a good mood.

这些反应可能会导致您对您更加幸运的情况造成内疚。

The Usual Rules Don’t Apply

在狂热之类的父母经常和限制孩子的屏幕时间之前，您在大流行游戏期间举行的许多事情 - 可能不再是选项（或优先事项）。

Visiting Friends and Family

If you’ve spent most of your life believing you should spend time with loved ones, of course you might feel guilty when you don’t.

Even though you might know that not visiting them is the safest, kindest thing you could do right now, you might still feel bad that your behavior has to be in conflict with your beliefs; “I can’t visit my parents even though I believe spending time with family is important.”

Your Children's Screen Time

如果您已经投入了大量的时间和精力，确保您的孩子不会盯着他们的数字设备，您的规则可能会发生变化。

也许让你的孩子用他们的设备与朋友聊天更好，而不是现在无法访问他们的电子产品。

或者，也许他们正在参加在网上学校and it’s more important for them to be connected all the time.

尽管您的优先事项和规则可能会在大流行期间转变，因为您需要保持每个人的健康和安全，但它可能会带来你的大脑和你的情绪，虽然达到了通常的规则不再适用的想法。

Managing Guilt in a Healthy Way

您可能无法控制您遇到内疚的事实。但是，您可以控制您的回复方式。以下是在大流行期间管理有罪感受的一些策略：

承认并接受内疚

内疚是一个正常的、健康的情感。经历了我t when you’ve hurt someone or when you’ve made a mistake is a good sign—it means you have a conscience. But sometimes, you may experience unnecessary guilt (like you have a faulty guilt meter).

Don’t waste your energy fighting your guilt or thinking, “I不应该有这种感觉。“忽略它甚至试图抑制它不起作用。

Instead, notice your feelings and acknowledge it. Put a name to it. Studies show that just labeling your feelings can help them feel less intense.

承认你的情绪也释放了脑力。而不是浪费能量，试图不感到内疚，认识到你的情绪，并试图向前发展。

Apologize If You’ve Hurt Someone

并非所有内疚都不必要。有时候有罪的感受是一个提醒你伤害了某人。

无论你是在伴侣中大吼大叫，因为你被压力或你告诉你的妈妈，她反应过来的最新标题，你的内疚可能是一个提醒你应该apologize。

If you messed up, acknowledge your mistake to the other person. Say you’re sorry without making any excuses for your behavior and accept full responsibility.

Rather than saying, “I’m sorry your feelings got hurt,” say, “I’m sorry I said something mean.”

但请记住，即使你没有做错任何事，你也可能会感到内疚。你可能会觉得你的孩子们不会经常离开房子，或者你可能会感到内疚，以至于你不能给孩子一个大生日派对 - 尽管这些事情不是你的错。如果您没有伤害任何人，则不需要道歉。

Monitor Your Behavior

内疚感觉不舒服。所以当你体验它时，你可能会诱惑你可以更好地拍摄更多的步骤。但是，如果你不小心，你要减轻你的内疚可能不会健康。

例如，如果您觉得有罪的孩子感到无聊和孤独，你可能会诱惑给他们饼干和冰淇淋让他们振作起来。

虽然让他们沉迷于一些额外的零食不会伤害，但让他们一直都会吃垃圾食品可能会影响他们的幸福。最终，你可能最终感觉甚至不喂它们更健康的食物。

当然，重要的是要把自己剪掉一点懈怠。您可能需要让孩子们比平常更长时间扮演他们的电子产品，所以你可以完成你的工作。

或者，你可能会像往常一样养育孩子零食，因为你不会经常去杂货购买新鲜水果和蔬菜。那些事情还可以。

Just make sure you aren’t making those choices out of an attempt to alleviate your guilt.

Change the Story You Tell Yourself

您告诉自己的故事 - 以及您框架行为的方式 - 对您的感受产生很大的影响。

If you think, “I’m a horrible person for not helping my parents,” you’ll feel bad. But, if you remind yourself, “I’m doing the most loving thing I can right now by staying away,” you might feel a little better.

You also might reframe the story you tell yourself around work. If you think, “I’m a bad parent for working in the office all day while the kids are watching TV in the living room,” you’ll likely experience guilt.

If, however, you change the story and tell yourself, “I’m modeling hard work and teaching my kids how to adapt to tough situations.” That reframe could reduce your guilt.

注意你在告诉自己的故事，并询问是否有另一种方式来看待这种情况。你可能会发现一个轻微的按照你的想法转移关于情况可以帮助您感觉更好。

Practice Self-Compassion

你的自我谈话在你的感受方式中取得了巨大的差异。呼唤自己的名字或击败自己犯了一个错误，你让燃料有罪的感受。

请记住，关于如何处理大流行中间的情况没有正确或错误的答案。这是未知的领域，您所能做的就是通过您拥有的信息来实现最佳决策。

In fact, studies show自同情心是未来做得更好的关键。练习自我同情也可以降低你的心理困扰。

一种练习自我同情的好方法是问自己，“我对一位觉得这种方式或有这个问题的朋友会怎么样？”有机会，你很善良。你可能会说一些支持的东西，“你尽力而为。我们都会犯错。”

You might also call them out when they’re being irrational by saying something like, “You didn’t do anything wrong. We’re in the middle of a pandemic.”

尝试用同样类型的善意和同情来回应自己。它可以帮助减轻你觉得的一些不必要的内疚。

Take Good Care of Yourself

It’s impossible to feel good about yourself and how you’re managing the situation if you’re neglecting (or even abusing) yourself.

注意您的饮食，睡眠和活动水平。如果你想要处于良好的情感健康，请照顾您的身体是很重要的。

同时,看看你做他的事情lp yourself function at your best. Are you engaged in a hobby? Do you take time to do the things you love? Are you making time for yourself?

明显地，自我护理在大流行期间可能看起来有点不同。您可能无法参观朋友或参加您喜欢的课程。但是，寻找帮助您觉得最好的策略非常重要。

Pay Attention to the People You Surround Yourself With

如果您的社交媒体朋友和追随者可能会为您分享的任何积极消息而叫出来，例如在大流行期间不应该庆祝，例如 - 您可能想要静音他们，联合联手，或建议他们取消关注。

It’s OK to share positive news. In fact, sharing the good things in your life (without bragging, of course) could inspire others or help them feel better.

当你在别人身边时，要意识到其他情绪和情绪。如果有人试图迫使你继续内疚之旅，设置边界。拒绝被“罪恶”做你不想做的事情。

来自粗糙的一个词

请记住，很多人现在正在经历不必要的内疚，所以如果你可以联系，你就不孤单。与理解可以帮助的朋友和家人交谈。

如果尽管有努力，你仍然经历了很多内疚，否则它会干扰你的运作能力，考虑寻求专业的帮助。内疚可能是抑郁症的症状，PTSD, or other mental health issues.

谈话治疗可以帮助您感觉更好。心理万博手机客户端健康专业人员可以帮助您解决内疚背后的思想，感受和行为，以便您可以开始感觉更好。