当你悲伤一个人的死亡时，如何应对工作

The death of someone we love and the悲伤it triggers often proves to be life's most difficult experience. It can take a toll on one's emotional and身体健康alike. Unfortunately, most employers expect workers to return to their jobs well before they feel ready to resume their "normal" activities.

本文提供了实用和健康的建议，以帮助您应对悲伤，当您在亲人的葬礼，纪念或拘留服务后返回工作，办公室或工作场所时。

Tips for Coping With Grief at Work

Struggling with grief while at work can be a challenge. If you find yourself in that situation, here are some tips to try as you cope with the loss of a loved one.

Refrain From Assuming Coworkers Know

While you have undoubtedly found it difficult to avoid thoughts about your loved one, you should not assume that all of your合作伙伴know that you're grieving after you return to work. Unfortunately, the day of wearing mourning clothes, such as "widow's weeds" or a black armband to visually signal your inner anguish to those around you is a thing of the past.

The truth is that most companies and businesses handle the reality of death just as poorly and awkwardly as most people do when someone dies, regardless of whether that loss involves an employee or an employee's loved one. Death makes us uncomfortable and often leaves us tongue-tied and at a loss for words, which is why we usually resort to death-denying euphemisms, saying the wrong thing or (worse) saying nothing at all.

因此,假设你的雇主告诉每个人你work with about the death of someone you love during your absence is probably a mistake. While some businesses might let every employee know companywide, many others will only inform the coworkers in your department/division, or just your immediate supervisor, and presume that the word will "get around" before you return to work.

您可以以各种方式完成此操作：

• Social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, etc.
• 卡，字母，文本，电子邮件和/或电话
• Asking your supervisor or human resources department to let people know
• Inviting someone/everyone you want to inform to meet you for coffee, a drink or a meal before you return to work
• Asking a close coworker to let others know on your behalf
• Holding a brief meeting with your coworkers shortly after you come back to the office
• Talking privately to individuals you want to inform at your workplace

One of the benefits of personally communicating like this is that you can also help your coworkers help you while you're grieving. You might, for example, let them know that it's okay to mention your deceased loved one by name around you or to express condolences or share their favorite memories if they wish.

另一方面，因为我们每个人都以自己的方式哀悼，如果你希望返回工作量可能有助于在工作日期间的内心疼痛，你可以让你的同事知道你欣赏他们的同情但更愿意在办公室里提及它一段时间。

Plan Your Escape Route

许多美国西方人荣耀或理想，可以应对任何逆境的人物，而不显示出丝毫表达情感，包括发生死亡后。然而，当你在一个被爱的人死后返回办公室/工作时，请明白你不是电影中的牛仔。换句话说，不要指望你能在工作日期间留下悲伤。

Even if you followed the suggestion above, and no matter how much you might hope that returning to work will help distract you from your painful thoughts and feelings for several hours, you should expect that your grief will tap you on the shoulder when you least expect it and triggersadnessand even tears in the workplace, despite your best efforts.

This is the challenging, insidious nature of grief after someone we love dies. Grief is difficult, if not impossible, to escape for long because the littlest thing can trigger thoughts/reminders, such as the lingering aroma of a coworker's perfume or cologne in a hallway or stairwell; a colleague who happens to mention a movie or song that your loved one enjoyed; suddenly noticing that someone wears the same hairstyle or a similar outfit; the time on a clock indicating lunchtime, the end of the workday, the start of the weekend.

If you find yourself crying suddenly, for example, where is the nearest restroom, stairwell, exit or private space you could use while you compose yourself, should you need it? If you're starting to feel sad about the death of your loved one during the workday, could you hold off until a scheduled break, lunch period or your finish-time arrives?

Would your company temporarily allow you to work from home (telecommute), come in later or leave earlier for a while or allow you to exit the workplace for 10 to 20 minutes if you feel overwhelmed by your loss? Remember, allowing yourself to feel sad and even cry is perfectly normal and natural when you're grieving, so instead of fighting it, you should plan for it.

Forgive Others

As noted above, most people (and, therefore, most companies) often fail to respond as we might wish or need after we experience the death of someone close. The bereaved often keenly sense this after returning to work following a brief funeral- or bereavement leave period or after using their vacation time, sick days or "P.T.O." in order to arrange a funeral, memorial or interment service.

If you return to your workplace, for example, and discover that a colleague now feels distant, or you sense that people don't seem to drop by and chat with you like they did before the death occurred, you're probably not imagining things.

尽管人们可以帮助别人悲伤死亡，但大多数人根本不知道如何安慰亲人的，担心说或做错事，所以他们无意识地远离自己。

如果您明白当您重返工作时可能会发生这种情况，那么您将不太可能觉得有意地孤立或个人采取。时间最终会削弱粗糙，痛苦的悲伤边缘，所以信任你和你的同事最终会在一个被爱的人死亡之后找到一个新的“正常”状态。

Forgive Yourself

死亡在我们的生活中造成了巨大和直接的空虚，即立即抹碎了我们的舒适感，欢乐和幸福感。无论我们与死者的关系如何 - 是否父母或儿童，兄弟姐妹或伴侣，朋友或家庭成员 - 我们从来没有真正“过度”是由亲人死亡造成的悲伤，当然不是在不充分的葬礼或丧亲休假期间之前的企业通常提供员工。

不再专注于在安排葬礼或追悼会时必须制造的许多细节和决定，以及家庭成员和朋友的涌入，爱被爱的人在事实之后经常沉没。

例如,试着想象husb空虚and feels when he enters the house alone for the first time after his wife's funeral, or the sadness of first entering "the baby's room" when a couple returns home after experiencing a miscarriage or stillbirth.

Because grief affects us emotionally,physically，精神上和精神上，你不应该指望你将以100％或“你的旧自我”回归工作。相反，您可能会在工作日中遇到以下一些哀悼挑战：

• 高于正常的错误率或不准确的速度
• Apathy and/or questioning if you should quit your job or find a new one
• Daydreaming
• Difficulty concentrating or focusing on a specific task
• Failing to accomplish more than you wanted to get done
• 感到不知所措
• Feeling sleepy or exhausted during the workday
• Forgetfulness
• 烦躁或不耐烦

Right now, while you're grieving, you shouldavoid making any major life decisions, such as quitting your job and finding someplace else to work. Moreover, you should understand and accept that the invisible weight of your grief will affect your job performance or satisfaction for a while once you return to work.

You are simply not your usual self during this time, so instead of denying it, you should forgive yourself when you fail to act or perform as you hope you would in the workplace.

Again, communicating with your supervisor and coworkers can prove critical at this time in order to help them better understand what you're dealing with, as well as to dispel any confusion about your recent performance or possible resentment by other coworkers that they need to "pick up your slack." Don't beat yourself up too much right now because things will gradually get easier with time.