How to Navigate Difficult Relationships With Your Family

adult daughter arguing with mother

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It's normal to experience an occasional misunderstanding, disagreement, or even selfishness amongfamily members。事实上,挑战和困难并不罕见。

但是,如果您发现与家庭成员的关系 - 甚至特别是一个家庭成员 - 尤其困难,您可能希望花一些时间更密切地检查这种关系。

Begin by asking yourself if the relationship is unsafe or just a little awkward to manage. If your family relationship is abusive, you might want to consider limiting your interactions with this person. In fact, research shows that prolonged conflict with people as well as negative relationships can impact your health.

If, on the other hand, you're just dealing with negativity, obnoxious behavior, little annoyances, or overly dramatic family members, there are things you can do to make these interactions less stressful for you. Here are some tips on managing difficult relationships with family.

How to Manage a Difficult Relationship

如果你努力在艰难的代数ionship with a family member, it can help to level the playing field and neutralize some of the difficulties. Begin by reminding yourself that you have no control over another person's actions, but you can change your reaction.

Take some time to think about what you appreciate about your family member, rather than focusing on the things that make them difficult to be around. When you're together, you will be less likely to zero in on their faults.

以下是有效管理困难关系的其他一些提示。

  • Suggest meeting someplace neutral.选择您觉得舒适的位置可以帮助创造一个平静的氛围。在公共场合会面经常会导致人们符合最佳行为,因为最不喜欢吸引注意力或制作场景。
  • 为您的互动做好准备。If you know you have a gathering coming up where you will be interacting with difficult family members, it can help to prepare yourself beforehand. For instance, if your aunt regularly criticizes your career choice or makes insensitive remarks about your lack of children, think about how you might respond if that happens. Being prepared ahead of time can help you navigatedifficult conversations和与压力较少的相互作用。
  • Be empathetic.大多数困难的人都不会那样天生。相反,他们基于他们的生活经历变得困难。例如,如果您的家人过生了一个特别艰难的生活,他们可能会在苦涩,怨恨或愤怒中挣扎,或者对生活的愤怒。而不是通过他们的行为来恼火,试着look at the situation empathetically。While this does not excuse their bad behavior, it certainly will help you keep things in perspective.

How to Interact With a Difficult Family Member

Depending on your family member's issues and hot buttons, communication may be challenging, especially if they are particularly difficult to get along with.

If they are prone to anger, manipulation, or bullying, you may want to consider whether or not interacting with this family member is in your best interest. Just because they are family does not mean you are required to beemotionally abusedin some way.

但是,如果您的家庭成员难以存在或挑战沟通,这些提示可能会帮助您的互动更顺利地变得更加顺畅。

Avoid Hot Topics or Sensitive Subjects

如果关于宗教,政治或金钱的对话通常会导致加热的论点,尽力避免主题。如果您的家人坚持认为讨论让您感到不舒服的问题,请考虑听他们要说的话。

Sometimes people like to discuss volatile subjects because they enjoy the drama that surrounds them. If you're not arguing with them or trying to prove a point, they may tire of the discussion. Of course, if their comments become too much for you, there's nothing wrong with excusing yourself and stepping outside to clear your head.

注意你的情绪

If you're spending a lot of time with a difficult family member, make sure you're keeping tabs on your emotions. Pay attention to your stress level and know your own limitations. If you're feeling particularly upset or stressed out,尝试深呼吸or other放松的侦探hniques

此外,寻找您可以从去洗手间或狗外面休息的方式。如果整个情况变得太多,不要害怕削减访问。

是故意的

虽然当一个家庭说出令人愤慨或令人讨厌的东西时,它可能是非常挑战的,但重要的是在回应之前暂停。您希望确保您的回复是平静和测量的。这种类型的响应不仅可以防止不必要的争论,它也让您阻止您被拉入戏剧。

Avoid Trying to 'Fix' Things

如果您处于家庭功能,并且争论爆发或如果您的一个家庭成员有崩溃,则不要急于求境并尝试解决这种情况。同样,不要试图以某种方式解决困难的家庭成员。除非他们要求建议,否则您需要避免给予或迫使他们以不同的方式做某事。

Refrain From People-Pleasing

在处理困难的家庭成员时,尤其是为了保持和平而令人愉悦的人,这是非常诱人的。无论情况多么困难,你都会保持忠实。

如何应对有毒的家庭动态

如果您与家人的关系是痛苦或虐待的,您可能希望考虑您是否希望与此人保持联系。有时候要做的最健康的事情就是在你们两个之间进行一段距离,而不是试图保持不健康的关系。

That said, there will be times when you have to interact with this family member, like at weddings or funerals. As a result, it can be helpful to be prepared. Here are some suggestions for navigating these situations.

  • 设定边界。Decide ahead of time what things you won't tolerate and what you will do if your family member crosses that line. Of course, you don't have to share your boundaries with them unless you want to. Just make sure you honor them if your family member crosses a line.
  • Give yourself permission to leave.You should never force yourself to endure abuse for the sake of the family. If your family memberverbally abuses你或欺负你以某种方式,让自己允许离开。
  • Be selective about what information you share.Unfortunately,toxic family members通常不值得信赖。出于这个原因,请小心您分享的信息。滥用他人的人经常使用个人信息来实现他们的优势,甚至可能会打破你的信心或使用这些信息以某种方式操纵你。
  • Call 9-1-1 if you are in danger.If your interactions escalate to the point that you feel like you're in danger, don't hesitate to call 9-1-1 for assistance. Many people want to protect family members from being held accountable, but you can't put yourself at risk. So, if your family member hurts you or threatens to hurt you, make sure you contact the police.
  • Consider talking with a counselor.Dealing with a difficult family relationship can be extremely stressful and hard to handle emotionally.Make sure you are getting help from a万博手机客户端心理健康专业人士。他们可以帮助您确定导航困难的家庭关系的最佳方式,同时确保您照顾您的心理健康。万博手机客户端

A Word From Verywell

虽然它可能似乎是不公平的,你是试图找到驾驶困难的家庭关系的方法,但请记住,在这种情况下唯一可以控制的是你自己的行为。

Even though your family member may be really annoying or a challenge to be around, you cannot change them or their behavior. The only thing you can do is learn how to effectively navigate these situations.

On the plus side, learning how to cope with difficult family relationships or navigate challenging family dynamics can benefit you in the long run. Once you have some tools in your arsenal, the interactions you have with your difficult family member will be less taxing for you. You are likely to be able to use these tools with other difficult people. After all, difficult people are everywhere not just in your family.

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