8 Warning Signs of a Troubled Marriage

每一段婚姻关系都是独一无二的。但是，有一些常见的警告标志和红旗可能表明存在危险serious problems in a marriage. 如果你发现自己有这些顾虑，不要忽视它们，希望它们会消失。他们通常不会，如果不承认，他们甚至可能变得更糟。

相反，你需要和你的配偶就你婚姻中的问题进行一次公开、诚实和尊重的谈话。这可能是一个困难的谈话，但它是必要的。

婚姻陷入困境的常见警告信号

每段感情都会有起起伏伏，但有一些迹象表明，你需要仔细观察，以确定它们是否是婚姻中不顺利的结果。这里有10种常见的signs of marriage trouble小心。

You're Always Criticizing Each Other

当然，一点建设性的批评可能是件好事。但如果你的批评多于赞美，那你就有麻烦了。研究表明，为了保持良好的关系，你需要五种（或更多）积极的互动来抵消每一种消极的互动。

你不再做爱了

Everyone goes through periods of ups and downs in the bedroom. Not wanting to rip your partner’s clothes off every night is no reason to panic. But if you’re both physically healthy enough to have sex, but go months or even years without it, a deeper issue—like a lack ofemotional intimacy或者romance-may是这个问题。

You Have the Same Argument Over and Over (and Over)

Arguments happen in every marriage, evenhealthy ones. In fact, research suggests that couples who argue effectively are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who sweep difficult issues under the rug.

But if your time together is plagued by endless reruns of the same argument and there is no resolution, chances are there's a major disconnect between the two of you. Before too long you’ll start avoiding each other for fear of sparking another argument.

你不再争论了

As opposed to the previous point, a lack of arguing can also signal a huge problem. It might seem like a relief if your high-conflict relationship suddenly turns into a no-conflict relationship. But if the healthy arguments have stopped, it could be a sign that one or both of you has given up.

你不喜欢在一起

Another red flag: You realize that you would rather spend time with anyone but your partner. Spending time apart is healthy for your relationship. But if you’re constantly making excuses to spend all of your free time away from your partner, you’ve already begun the break-up process.

你开始保守秘密

It’s completely normal to want to keep some things to yourself. However, deliberately keeping secrets—say, you had dinner alone with a co-worker who finds you attractive, casually hung out with an ex, or买了昂贵的鞋子you said you wouldn’t— is a clear warning sign that your relationship may be in trouble.

You Think About Having an Affair

人际关系专家称，经常发现伴侣以外的人很有吸引力，这是完全正常的。毕竟，进入一段关系并不会切断你正常的生理功能。

What’s not ok? Fantasizing about being with that person. If your thoughts are constantly consumed by someone you find attractive other than your partner, then you’re clearly在你现在的关系中遗漏了一些东西.

They're Not The First Person You Call

在一个健康的婚姻中，无论是在好的时候还是在坏的时候，你都会把你的伴侣看作是寻求情感支持的人。尽管你可能会向家人和朋友倾诉，但通常情况下，倾诉的程度与你的伴侣不同。毕竟，你的伴侣是你的“人”

如果你的伴侣不是你情绪低落或庆祝成功时第一个接触到的人，那可能是出了问题的征兆。

Don't Wait to Seek Help

如果你觉得婚姻中的问题无法解决，是时候寻求专业人士的帮助了。也就是说，从marriage counseling, don't wait until your marriage is beyond repair.

Amarriage therapistcan be an ally to your marriage. Rather than taking sides, they will help you and your partner gain perspective and develop the communication skills needed to change the patterns that have kept you stuck. With their help, you and your partner can identify and change unhealthy patterns and rediscover the love you once felt toward each other.