富有同情心和充满激情的爱情的差异

As anyone who has ever lived and loved can confirm, not all types ofloveare the same. The love you feel for your partner during the early stages of a romance can feel much different than the love you may feel years later into the relationship.

Psychologist Elaine Hatfield has described two different types of romantic love:compassionate(also known as companionate) and passionate. Compassionate love involves feelings of mutual respect,相信, and affection while passionate love involves intense feelings and sexual attraction.

有什么热情的爱情？

Hatfield defines passionate love as "a state of intense longing for union with another." This type of love tends to be more common at the outset of a relationship. People in this state of love tend to experience very powerful feelings for each other. They need to be near the other person, may think about the other person constantly, and experience extreme distress when separated.

Passionate love also comes in two different forms.

Requited love results in two people forming a relationship and being together, while unrequited love results in feelings of despair, anxiety, and寂寞。

的一些关键认知、情感和行为al characteristics of passionate love include:

• 对合作伙伴的侵入性思考：人们经常经常经历几乎不断思考他们爱上的人。这些想法不仅持久性，而且它们也可以在白天或黑夜几乎随时侵入。
• 对方或关系的理想化：People in passionate love tend to believe that the object of their affections can do no wrong. They also tend to believe that their relationship is without faults, is destined to be, or is a "perfect match."
• A Strong Desire to Know and Be Known:热情的人们希望了解他们的伴侣的一切。他们也希望他们的伴侣了解他们的一切。
• Strong Emotions About the Other Person:当事情进展顺利时，这种爱情的人感觉良好，但是当事情发生时可能会被摧毁。
• A Need to Maintain Physical Closeness:In addition to being strongly attracted to the other person, people in passionate love try to maintain close physical proximity.

Compassionate Love

Where passionate love is marked by its intensity, compassionate love is characterized by its level of intimacy. Compassionate love, also called companionate love, is about intimacy, trust, commitment, and affection. In a long-term relationship, passionate love typically simmers down to compassionate love within one to two years.

People who are in compassionate love still feel passionate about one another, but the intensity typically feels less overwhelming and urgent. This type of love involves caring deeply for the other person, truly knowing the other individual, and is committed to the other person through both good times and bad.

Even when disagreements take place, people who share compassionate love remain in love and dedicated to one another.

的一些关键认知、情感和行为al characteristics of compassionate (companionate) love include:

• Long-Term Commitment:伴侣的爱情被持久和持久的彼此承诺为标志。
• 深度亲密：People who share compassionate love are able to share every aspect of themselves with each other. Mutual sharing of feelings and concerns is a hallmark of this form of love.
• 相信：富有同情心的爱被对方的深刻信任标志。

Influencing Factors

So what determines whether people end up in passionate or compassionate love? According to Hatfield, some of the factors associated with passionate love include:

• Timing:Being "ready" to be in love with another person is essential. If you are at a stage in your life where you are not sure you want to be in a relationship, you will also be less likely to experience falling in love.
• 早期的附件风格:Securely attached individuals tend to form deeper, longer-lasting love while those who are anxiously attached tend to fall in and out of love quickly. Those who are securely attached may still experience passionate love, but this love is also more likely to eventually grow into companionate/companionate love. Those with不安全的风格are more likely to experience intense passionate love that then fades without growing into something more intimate and lasting.
• 相似：Hatfield和Rapson注意，我们倾向于爱上与我们同义相对良好的人，友情，深情和与自己相似的人。兼容性也是有助于充满激情的爱情成长为富有同情心的爱情的重要因素。虽然对立时可能有时吸引，但如果他们共同分享事情，人们通常更有可能留在爱情中。

记住这两种类型的爱情的一个重要措施是热情的爱情通常是勇敢的，而富有同情心的爱情可能更有可能受到时间的考验。充满激情的爱是激烈的，但它一般很短暂。

研究人员研究了与新夫妇，新婚夫妇和那些结婚的关系的关系如何，发现虽然热情的爱情在关系开始时更加激烈，但它往往会使富有富有亲密和承诺的富有同情心的爱情。

Researchers have long suggested that passionate love tends to be the more likely type of love to fade. Interestingly, more recent research by Hatfield and her colleagues has suggested that time can have an equally detrimental effect on both passionate and companionate love.

一项研究comparing passionate and companionate love between newlyweds and long-term marriages also found that both newlywed men and women tended to feel equal levels of passion. However, the researchers also found that newlywed women were more likely to love their partner compassionately at a greater level than their partner expressed in return.

The Passionate Love Scale

Hatfield和Sprecher开发了Passionate Love Scalethat has been used worldwide with people of every age. It asks questions based on cognitive components (what and how often you think about your partner), behavioral components (how committed you are and what you do for the other person), and emotional components (how you feel about your partner).

Respondents are asked to think about the object of their affections, and then answer questions similar to the following:

• Do you feel like your emotions have been on a roller coaster since you have been involved with this person?
• 如果他们离开你，你会遇到绝望吗？
• 你觉得自己不能停止思考这个人吗？
• Do you feel like you would rather be with this person than anyone else?
• Do you enjoy studying this person's body or movements?
• Do you feel a powerful attraction to this person?
• 你觉得depressed when things don't go right in your relationship with this person?

如果您可以对某些或大多数问题回答是的，那么它可能是您所经历的迹象表明是热情的爱。

对关系的影响

While it is one thing to understand what these two types of love are conceptually, how might these concepts play out in your real-world relationships?

In reality, you may be more likely to experience passionate love in those early stages of a new relationship. As your infatuation grows, your passion for the other person may build and eventually peak. As your relationship continues, this passion may eventually be tempered and grow into a more compassionate/companionate form of love.

Companionate love may not necessarily be marked by wild passion, excitement, or obsessive thoughts that are seen in passionate love. However, this compassionate form of love does include feelings of tenderness, a strong bond, friendship, and enjoyment of the other's company.

Once you have established a more compassionate form of love, this does not mean that you will not experience great passion from time to time. In fact,some researchsuggests that romantic love marked by intensity, engagement, and sexual interest (but without the obsessive component that is often common in early stages of relationships) is associated with higherself-esteem，增加福祉，提高婚姻满意度。

So, what can you do to rekindle feelings of romantic love, even if you are in a long-term relationship where it feels like the flames of passion have long faded? Look for ways toget out of your rut。

花时间一起做新事物或寻求新的冒险。一起跳舞或烹饪课程，去旅行到一个新的位置，甚至在户外寻求冒险都是促进信任，亲密甚至浪漫激情的所有方式。

A Word From Verywell

While research on love has flourished over the past 20 years, Hatfield’s early research on this topic was not without critics. During the 1970s, U.S. Senator William Proxmire railed against researchers who were studying love and derided the work as a waste of taxpayer dollars.

其他人捍卫了Hatfield和其他研究人员的重要工作，并指出，如果心理学家可以理解人类的爱情模式，那么也许他们也可以理解离婚和失败的关系。

Despite the debate, the work created by Hatfield and her colleagues contributed tremendously to our understanding of love and inspired further research on attraction,attachment, and interpersonal relationships.