你希望戏弄会停止吗？

一些心理学家认为戏弄是一个重要的工具建立健康的关系。这对夫妇更满意，他们的伙伴关系更加俏皮。然而，由于戏弄是模糊的，所需的效果可以反射。此外，人们对戏弄不同。

即使在Jest中说，一些笑话和戏弄的形式也不好笑。对于许多人来说，在戏弄和开玩笑时，有一些生活领域被认为是禁止的。

Why We Tease

Just as teasing can have both positive and negative consequences, it can also be the result of positive or negative intentions. Teasing can be a way of showing love and affection. For some, teasing is a habit and a way of interacting with people. In other cases, teasing may be a power play or a way of trying to be the center of attention.

人们逗逗的其他原因包括：

• To liven up a dull conversation or to try and come across as clever and funny
• 保持对他人而不是自己的关注
• To say something negative they've been wanting to say

制作戏弄积极

我们所有人都有敏感的地区或我们的弱点self-esteem，所以，如果您的配偶或合作伙伴对象戏弄，请对任何伤害感情负责并道歉。责备并说他们需要“学会笑话”或“不应该如此敏感”只是使情况更加不舒服，可能会损害其他健康的关系。

以下是更多的提示，以确保戏弄为您和您的伴侣创造积极的感受：

• Tease in a way that compliments your spouse。For example, you might say at a party: "Mary is an organizing machine. If the neighbors would let her through the front door, she would clean out their closets just for fun."
• 只有你的配偶可以嘲笑你的事情。This may take a little trial and error, so be aware of when teasing raises tension rather than releases it.
• 不要攻击或恶意那特别是在涉及伴侣的能力，外观，体重或你认为身体缺陷的过程中。
• Don't overdo the humor bit。是的，每个关系都需要一些乐趣和笑声，但是，你可以给出太多的GAG礼物，制作太多所谓的诙谐言论，讲几个太多有趣的故事，并从事太多的马戏。保持平衡与地球，真实，与配偶的严肃对话。
• 认识到戏弄可以滚雪球那with one spouse wanting to top the other's last remark.

Coping

如果戏弄对您和您的关系产生负面影响，则有些步骤您可以采取帮助使其停止。

• 说实话。If you are being teased by your spouse and don't like it, say so. Even a simple, "that hurts" can communicate to your partner that a teasing remark crossed the line.
• 质疑戏弄。问你的伴侣，“你为什么这么说？”或者“你打算伤害我的感情吗？”
• Create a plan。If teasing is a problem primarily when you are among friends, decide in advance how you want to handle the situation in front of others. Whether you address it then and there or you choose to redirect the conversation, just be sure to follow up later; it's important that you discuss with your partner why the teasing wasn't funny and how it affected you.

识别口头虐待

At times, when people are “just teasing” or “just joking,” they are really just hiding behind these words to get away with mean or manipulative behavior. In these instances, the teasing can cross the line and become abusive.

以下红旗可能表明，戏弄实际上是口头虐待的借口：

• Name-calling或羞辱such as fat-shaming
• 侮辱和放下disguised as jokes
• 笑话攻击你的弱势或脆弱的地方或者在敏感的主题上磨练，不要放松
• Teasing that humiliates您那特别是在公共环境中说
• Gaslighting或者通过说“我只是开玩笑”或“你太敏感”来减少伤害戏弄

关键是能够识别良好的健康戏弄，从戏弄攻击。如果您的伴侣在您讨论后，您的伴侣不会停止戏弄，或者在您讨论过的戏弄变得更加报复和伤害时，那么您的婚姻可能存在一些严重的问题，包括情感虐待，需要专业的帮助。