Behind the Keyboard: Spotting Digital Dating Abuse

约会应该是有趣和令人兴奋的。但有时候滥用可以爬进和约会，突然变黑了。当发生这种情况时，它是有趣的。相反，它充满了妒忌, control,manipulation，羞辱和恐吓。它比你想象的更常见。事实上，150万高中学生在全国各地的经历滥用了一年的约会伴侣。

当大多数人想到约会虐待时，他们想象一个男朋友身体或verbally violent。但在互联网时代，技术迅速成为一些滥用合作伙伴的首选武器。事实上，许多滥用预防倡导者报告了描述其关系中数字约会滥用的青少年女孩数量的显着增加。

识别数字约会滥用

Digital dating abuse occurs when an辱骂伴侣使用技术，如智能手机，社交媒体，跟踪应用程序或其他形式的技术，威胁，骚扰和恐吓约会伙伴。这样做的一些更常见的方式包括发送过多的文本或消息，追踪社交媒体的合作伙伴，或要求伴侣参与性交。

According to one study, one out of eight teens over the age of 16 has experienced at least one form of digital dating abuse. What's more, both boys and girls can experience digital dating abuse. It is not limited to just girls.

What's more, a number of high schoolers have reported that if they do not respond to text messages quickly they often suffer repercussions like physical violence,emotional abuse，姓名呼叫或verbal abuse。Meanwhile, teens have reported that their boyfriends or girlfriends have set up fake social media accounts to test whether or not they are interacting with the opposite sex online. And some have even reported that their boyfriends require them to download a GPS tracking app so that they know where they are at all times. None of this is healthy or part of a normal dating relationship. And if it is occurring in your relationship, or if you notice other signs of dating abuse, you need to think about how to end the relationship before the abuse escalates. You may be the victim of digital dating abuse if your partner:

• 即使在学校，工作或睡着时，也会向您发送过多的短信，然后如果您没有立即回复，然后会生气
• 如果他发短信或电话，期望您在一天中的所有时间都可以使用;如果您无法使用，威胁要以某种方式伤害您
• 向您发送负面，侮辱，恐吓或威胁文本，在线消息或语音邮件
• Uses sites like foursquare, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and other sites where you can "check-in" as a way to keep tabs on you
• Requires you to install a GPS tracking app on your phone or insists that you "share your location" if you both have iPhones
• Installs spyware on your smartphone, tablet, or computer without you knowing about it
• 告诉你谁可以，不能成为社交媒体的朋友
• 将假社交媒体帐户设置为匿名间谍在线的一种方式
• 通过黑客入侵您的社交媒体帐户和发布为您创造问题的事物而在线塑造您
• 推文或帖子负面，羞辱或侮辱你的事情;也可能在网上取笑你
• Demands to have the passwords to your phone and your social media accounts
• 通过手机浏览，读取您的短信，检查图片，或通过您的拨出呼叫作为监控您的活动的方式滚动
• Reads private emails or social media messages without your consent
• 发送您不需要的显式照片或视频
• Pressures you to take and send sexual photos or videos; may also threaten to use those photos and videos as "revenge porn" if you break up

How to Stay Digitally Safe

At the beginning of a relationship, it can feel flattering to have a partner show a lot of interest in you by texting you a lot. But healthy relationships have界限。他们还包含两个人在关系之外有兴趣和友谊。如果不是这种情况，那么你需要观看约会滥用的迹象。如果您的伴侣似乎过于控制生活中的技术，请确保您采取措施保护自己。以下是您可以保护自己免受数字约会滥用的一些方法：

• Do not share your passwords with anyone.
• Be careful about checking in at different locations; it makes it too easy for people to stalk you.
• 未经他们的许可，不要在照片中登记或标记您的朋友，因为他们可能想要他们的位置保持私密。
• 请记住，一旦您击中发送，您就会丢失任何电子信息或照片;不要以电子方式发送任何私人。很多次，消息和照片都用于在分手后令人尴尬或羞辱。
• 不要将手机交给任何包括您的约会伙伴的人;这是私有财产，您不必分享它。
• Know your privacy settings and keep your electronic devices, online accounts and social media accounts as secure as possible.
• Remember that you have the right to feel safe and respected in a relationship.

在健康的关系中，您的伴侣将尊重您的个人界限。如果在一天中的每一秒钟，他也会给你空间和时间的空间和时间。而且，他将意识到您可以关闭手机或有时不可用。任何不尊重这些事情的人都表现出控制的迹象。并且，想要控制另一个人是虐待关系的标志。

A Word From Verywell

If you or someone you know is experiencing digital dating abuse, there is help available. You are not alone. For instance,Love Is Not Abuseoffers to talk, text, and online chat options for people dealing with digital dating abuse. You can text loveis to 22522 if you have questions and concerns about digital dating abuse. And, if you do not feel safe using your own device, reach out to them using a sibling's device or a computer at the library. You also can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE anytime of the day or night to talk with an advocate. Or, visit their website,www.hotline.org，为一个现场聊天。