Imago治疗关系

Imago therapy is a specific style of relationship therapy designed to help conflict within relationships become opportunities for healing and growth. The term imago is Latin for "image" and, within imago relationship therapy, refers to an "unconscious image of familiar love."

Imago关系疗法was developed byHarville Hendrix，Ph.D.和海伦Lakelly Hunt，Ph.D。在20世纪70年代后期，这两个临床医生都经历了他们的关系历史上的离婚。在寻找基于有效和证据的支持后，他们以乐于助人的资源来发现关系和发现，他们选择从自己的经验建立并开发一个基于证据的咨询模式，这将有助于促进治疗和增长在犯下的关系中。

Imago和关系

Imago作为熟悉爱情的形象的概念表明，我们的早期关系教导了我们关于爱和我们自己的事情。通过这些早期的经历，我们培养了与爱情相关的身份感，比如爱是什么以及我们需要做的事情，以便从别人身上体验爱情并感到安全。

在我们的早期关系中，我们开始培养一种感觉self-worthbased on how we are treated by important people in our lives. We start to develop attachment patterns and start to gain a sense of how we think we should be treated by others.

例如，如果您在一项任务表现良好的时候，您只会从您的照顾者那里获得赞美和爱情的感受，您可能会相信您必须表现良好的成年生活，以便值得爱和接受护理和接受护理舒适的伴侣。如果你的伴侣转身或关闭你，让你感觉不受欢迎，你可能很快开始反思自己的行为，重播事物并寻找你可能有“做错的人”以这种方式对待你。

Our intimate relationships are prime ground for bringing up raw spots, old wounds, and patterned behaviors. These connections can leave us feeling close and cared for, as well as lonely and abandoned. It is not surprising that our intimate relationships often tend to bring up old, familiar emotional wounds since imago therapy suggests that we pick partners who feel "familiar" to us.

When these old wounds come up in relationships, it can give us a chance to heal and grow. Imago relationship therapy believes this to be true as well. As Dr. Hendrix stated in his best-selling bookGetting the Love You Want，“我们出生在关系中，我们受到了关系，我们可以在关系中愈合。”

Picking a Familiar Partner

Imago therapy suggests that we choose partners who remind us of our early caregivers—a combination of their good qualities and not-so-good qualities. This is a reason why the person we seem to click with feels familiar to us and why we might be comfortable to let our guard down with them. Because they have traits we are familiar with, we also tend to know how to navigate those traits because of what we learned growing up.

认为我们可以选择一个与早期的护理人员相同的不太伟大的特质的合作伙伴可能会让我们发疯！但是，它是有道理的，因为我们倾向于发现它更容易导航局势和对我们熟悉的人。如果您习惯于在冲突或遇险时从照顾者那里获得寒冷的肩膀，那么您可能会在与那些更加自信的人的伙伴相比，在伴侣中感到一个奇怪，熟悉的舒适良好的伴侣，而且是更自信地积极参与口头交流的人在冲突或痛苦时期。

是什么让它不同？

Although these concepts are utilized in different types of dynamicpsychotherapy, imago therapy emphasizes that our early attachment experiences with caregivers may directly influence our choice of partner as an adult. As we date, we may come across someone who seems all too familiar and easy to connect with, almost as if we have known them before or for a long time.

What imago therapy suggests is that these people feel familiar to us because they parallel relationship dynamics we have been in before with caregivers in our early experiences. When we feel comfortable and familiar with someone, we begin to let our guard down and grow closer, which makes it easier to build a romantic relationship. The closer we become over time, we may find old emotional wounds surfacing within our relationship and wonder what is happening.

Another thing that makes imago therapy different from other styles of therapy is that it is focused on using conflict and distress and opportunities for healing and growth. Rather than teaching people how to simply "fight better" or find ways to avoidconflict within your relationship,成虫疗法鼓励夫妇精益those moments of distress and use them for exploration, curiosity, and learning.

Imago therapy is collaborative, meaning that there is not a distinct role of a therapist as an advice-giving authority but, rather, the therapist works together with the couple to take a look at what is happening for them and healing the relationship as a whole. The therapist allows for the couple to be the experts of their dynamic, facilitating the conversation in a way that allows partners to learn from each other.

What Can It Help With?

成虫疗法是专门为你开发的nderstanding and healing of relationships. Some of the issues that imago therapy can help with include:

• Communication challenges
• Recurring disagreements/conflict
• Feelings of disconnection
• Lack of intimacy
• Infidelity/相信

You do not have to necessarily be in distress to participate in imago relationship therapy. In fact, couples who are not in distress can significantly benefit from participating, learning about these dynamics within the relationship and gaining a better understanding of themselves and their partner.

Imago对话

Imago关系疗法的一个核心方面是Itago对话。这种对话是一种结构化方法，由训练有素的Imago治疗师促进，允许合作伙伴获得理解和增加同理心。Imago对话的目标是：

• Remove negative, hurtful language from communication
• Create a safe emotional environment for both partners to openly share
• Allow both partners equal space and eliminate the idea that one partner has more power over the other

在这种对话中，有一个“发件人”和“接收者”，发件人是与他们的接收器公开分享思想和感受的发送者。在Imago对话期间，“接收器”实践以下三个步骤：

1. Mirroring:Repeating back what you have heard your partner say, in order to gain clarification and understanding. The receiver does this with no judgment, criticism or response, but simply repeating back what they have heard their partner say.
2. Validation:接收方员可以验证其伴侣（发件人）已共享的部分，是对它们有意义的。正如他们所做的那样，他们让他们的伴侣知道他们“得到它”并积极地试图了解。如果接收者还没有理解的部分，他们可以要求发件人分享更多。
3. Empathy:在对话中的这一点上，接收者与他们的伴侣共享他们认为另一个可能是感受的。在这个级别分享是一种让他们的伴侣知道他们对他们的情感经历更深入了解的一种方式，允许伴侣觉得和听到。

Imago for Individuals

Although imago relationship therapy is a model of counseling designed to effectively work with couples in committed relationships, you certainly do not need to be in an active relationship to benefit from imago therapy. In fact, many people who are dating may find this type of therapy very useful for examining their own history and how it might be influencing their dating patterns and choices in partners.

通过参与成虫疗法,你can learn what some of your old wounds or emotional raw spots might be that are impacting your relationships. Finding a sense of healing around these raw spots can be valuable in helping you move forward with more confidence and learning how to be a great, compassionate partner in your next relationship.

Common Questions

How Can I Get Started With Imago Therapy?

Two main ways to start learning more about imago therapy and how it can help your relationship include workshops and therapy sessions. There are several varied workshops available, all based on the model of imago therapy. Some of the workshops available are tailored specifically to:

• Premarital couples
• Couples in distress
• Couples with children
• 基督教夫妻
• 同性伴侣
• Individuals

讲习班在世界各地提供，您所在地区或地区有讲习班。

The other method of participation is in counseling with an imago trained therapist. Sessions are traditionally offered one hour at a time, although there are often additional services available such as intensives that last a few hours or retreats that might last for a few days.

Having face to face time with an imago trained therapist allows you and your partner to actively dig into the dynamics of your relationship. During that time you will be using dialogue, facilitated by the therapist, to explore and learn what happens for your partner when there is distress or conflict in the relationship.

Actively seeking understanding can increase empathy and create a sense of connection and healing between partners so the same patterns and issues stop coming up time and time again.

How Can I Find an Imago Therapist?

Many therapists who work with couples have likely had some training in—and basic understanding of—imago relationship therapy. You can find resources in your area, such as trained and even fully certified imago relationship therapists, at sites such asImago Relationships International。There you can search a database of trained imago therapists from around the world, searching by your location and type of relationship need. You can also discover locations for a variety of workshops available, which are based on the principles of imago relationship therapy.

Are There Times When Imago Therapy Might Not Help?

As with other types of relationship therapy, there are times when imago therapy might not be a good fit for your relationship. These times might include situations such as domestic violence, active substance abuse, or other addictive behaviors that can get in the way of a successful relationship therapy experience. Imago therapy may only be effective when issues like this are resolved first.

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning about imago relationship therapy but not yet sure if you are interested in attending a workshop or therapy sessions, there are several popular books written by Dr. Hendrix and Dr. Hunt that you can check out, including:

• Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
• 保持你的爱情：个人指南
• Making Marriage Simple: 10 Relationship Saving Truths
• Receiving Love: Transforming Your Relationship By Letting Yourself Be Loved
• The Space Between: The Point of Connection
• The Happy Couple's Secret: How to Build a Lasting, Satisfying Relationship

Many of the titles have a workbook version available to help better understand the material and learn how it might apply to your own relationship patterns.