How to Control Compulsive Lying When You Have an Addiction

撒谎关于你的瘾，特别是如果您的上瘾行为是非法的，可以成为第二种自然。它甚至可以给出权力感 - “我逃脱了。”但撒谎对关系非常损害，家庭成员往往意识到他们被骗了, and many people with addictions would prefer to be more truthful, but just don’t know how.

尝试遵循控制强迫谎言的提示。他们会给你一些想法让你开始建立信任并缓解你的良心。

1.停止向自己撒谎

这可能似乎是一个奇怪的提示,但研究hows that people with addictions actually do lie to themselves in a number of different ways.

Tip: Lying to yourself may be making your addiction worse. Being honest with yourself is the first step in becoming honest with others.

2. Know Who You Can Trust – When It’s In Your Best Interests

有些人将永远想要符合您最佳利益的东西，而且在真实的时候，他们是一个很好的地方是新的。它们包括您的医生，以及您可能会看到的任何辅导员或治疗师。这些人受过训练，以了解和帮助患者的瘾，但如果你不告诉他们真的发生了什么，他们就无法帮助你。事实上，骗你的医生关于你的成瘾甚至可能让你有风险获得建议或处方，这与你真正需要的相反。这甚至可能会造成伤害。

Tip: Be honest with your doctor. Even if you don’t tell them everything, at least answer their questions truthfully.

这不是他们的业务 - 或者是吗？

每个人都有权隐私。您有瘾的事实是您的私人业务，您应该控制谁可以访问该信息。但在某些情况下，您的成瘾也可能会影响某人，也可以使其成为他们的业务。

Before writing off another person's right to know the truth about your addiction, think about whether it has any impact on them. Members of your immediate family, for example, will very likely be impacted by your addiction, even if it is simply by your lack of availability for your relationship with them. Anyone who may be affected by the consequences of your addiction also has a right to know the truth, including anyone you have hurt while under the influence.

Tip: If you think your addiction may impact another person, consider telling them the truth.

他们不能应对真相 - 但也许他们已经是

您可以认为您必须将您的令人上瘾的行为秘密免受您接近的人，例如您的伴侣，成年儿童或父母，因为您认为这将是他们可以应对的。虽然他们很可能worry, in reality, they would have a much harder time coping with the serious consequences of your addiction, such as legal and health problems, if they were unaware of your addiction.

However, you should be careful in talking to young children about addictions, and this should ideally be done with the support of a trained family therapist. Having a parent who uses alcohol or drugs makes it more likely that your child will use these substances, so be careful about disclosure and particularly to never use alcohol or drugs in front of them, or offer them alcohol or drugs.

提示：即使您没有主动地告诉您的伴侣，成人儿童或父母关于您的成瘾，就明白，如果他们询问它，他们可能可以应对真实的答案。

他们所做的只是批评我 - 但他们可以听

机会是您的成瘾新闻将导致一些初始烦恼。事实上，您可能会受到批评。您还可以听到一些不批评的负面评论，但您认为这是这样的。看到差异有助于。很难知道如何与瘾的人交谈，especially if there have been past lies and hurts.

If the person in question cares about you, they will want what is best for you, which is that you are well and happy. They may have a period of adjustment as they accept your addiction, but they may also be your greatest source of support through overcoming your addiction. Also, knowing what is going on can help家庭成员找到自己的支持。

提示：如果您期望批评，请在他们有一个观点的情况下做出反思自己的行为。你也可以在不批评的情况下请求你所爱的人倾听。

他们不明白 - 但也许他们可以帮助

也许你所爱的人并不像你那样聪明，但他们可能是。虽然你可能会这么想了解有成瘾的人他们没有能力的东西，往往有上瘾的人对他们所爱的人的方式感到惊讶，了解他们正在进行的东西。另一方面，他们可能有很难的时间理解，但经过一段时间的调整后，他们可以很好地理解。

许多治疗服务现在为家庭成员提供教育和支持会议，恰恰是这个原因。在学习成瘾之后，家庭成员可能非常支持。

提示：给你所爱的人通过教育他们的病情来了解。

7. I Don’t Care About Them – But Maybe I Should

Sometimes people with addictions get into relationships with other people for what they can get out of it – money, drugs, sex and social status are all common motivators. But by being in exploitative relationships with other people, you are setting yourself up for more shame and regret than you realize.

你可能不觉得你正在做其他人伤害。你甚至可能觉得他们与你的关系很大。但是你花的时间剥削它们是时候，你们都不会回来。你基本上剥夺了他们有机会与真正关心他们的人有真正的关系。

当关系结束时，你将留下羞耻，了解你已经破坏了别人的生活。这些可耻的感情是非常令人不令人不愉快的，并且通常会使成瘾更糟糕，因为你试图通过上瘾的行为逃脱它们。

提示：想想你是否希望对别人的生活产生负面影响。

8.让你所爱的人是宽恕的礼物

通过与秘密和谎言束缚你的关系，你否认你所爱的人有机会原谅你。他们可能会很清楚你的谎言，或者至少怀疑，但除非他们知道真相，否则他们就无法从受伤和怨恨中释放出来。然后他们有选择原谅你过去的谎言和伤害。

Of course, having your loved one’s forgiveness will probably feel pretty good to you too.

Tip: Apologize if you have hurt someone you love. They might just forgive you.