你的伴侣不能满足你所​​有的情感需求

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你可能会觉得你的配偶s not meeting your emotional needs. But,marriage counselors心理学专万博maxbetx官网登陆家普遍认为只有您可以满足这些需求。

你不应该认为自己是一个空的情绪船只被你的配偶填补。您需要对自己的履行负责,以及最好的方法是首先考虑和满足您的配偶的需求。

Meeting Your Spouse's Needs

Anemotionalneed "is a craving that, when satisfied, leaves you with a feeling of幸福and contentment, and, when unsatisfied, leaves you with a feeling of unhappiness and frustration," says clinical psychologist and author, Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr.

Hisnumerous bookson marriage and relationships includeHis Needs, Her Needs侧重于男女的需求,并展示了丈夫和妻子如何满足配偶的需求。根据哈雷的说法,满足您自己的情感需求意味着将您的配偶的欲望放在自己面前。

Tweofus.org同意,注意:“一个长期成功的钥匙之一,忠诚的关系是正确了解你伴侣的情感需求。”你不对会议负责allof your partner's needs, the relationship website notes, but you certainly should put those needs ahead of your own.

Some of these needs include affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and family commitment. It's like the old saying: with love, the more you give, the more you get back.

询问你需要什么

Once you are in the mindset of being a loving and giving spouse, you can then start to advocate for your own needs—but you have to be careful about how you go about it.

When you want your spouse to perform some kind of action to magically meet your needs, you are really asking for them to change, says Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist and syndicated columnist forPsychology Today,这是几乎不可能的要求。

Instead, be direct. "Ask for what you need," says Goldsmith. "Do you want change, understanding, or compatibility? Whatever your need, asking for it directly will greatly improve your chances of getting it."

Show Your Spouse That You Care

目前,需要回报的需求发生。继续向您的配偶展示您的价值和关心它们。一般而言,这些事情,一般而言,把伴侣的需求放在你自己面前。

"If someone feels valued he or she will do the best they can to keep your opinion of them high," says Goldsmith. "Reminding your mate that you know your life is better because he or she is in it is very motivational and very loving."

Make sure you know what your partner wants and values: Is it a home-cooked meal? A spontaneous bouquet of flowers? A special dinner at a fancy restaurant or a quick burger at a fast-food eatery? Fixing that leaky faucet or loose door handle?

An Act of Kindness Goes a Long Way

It doesn't really matter what the act of kindness might be—the important thing is that your spouse knows they are valued—that you know whatthey想要和需要,并且您已准备好提供它而不被问到。

This effort to understand and willingness to give is key to agood marriageand partnership, and ultimately, to have your own needs met.

对自己负责

Understand that you are in a relationship to bond with your spouse, to share events—big or small—and to build a life together.

“当我们期望丈夫或妻子履行我们时,我们令人失望,因为没有人类可以满足另一个人,”印第安纳教会的牧师和关系网站的创造者说:“马克·亚特里奇Blazing Center。“希望另一个人能满足我们的需求,这是询问任何人的需求。”

Expectations are "killers," says Altrogge, explaining that all humans are fallible, and have their own wants and needs. That's unlikely to change—in your spouse or anyone else.

“不要看你的配偶需要改变的地方,”亚历埃说。“看看你需要改变的地方。没有对你的配偶的期望。如果你有期望,请把它们放在自己身上。”

Robert Fulghum, in his classic book, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten," explained it well in some of his basic rules: share everything, hold hands, and stick together.

如果你的伴侣知道你关心他们,并将通过大事和小的东西在那里,他们更有可能回报。拥有您的情感需求,始于为您的伴侣分享和照顾。一个感受到的人,照顾和赞赏的人更有可能以实物竞争。

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