当你有adhd时找到正确的约会伙伴

Social relationshipscan create many challenges for an individual with ADD. The condition may cause difficulties with paying attention to others, missing important verbal and nonverbal cues, impulsive reactions, moodiness, quick temper, low tolerance for frustrations, forgetfulness, zoning out in conversations, oversensitivity tocriticism, emotional over-reactions, and problems following through with承诺。

Tackling all these issues at once can feel quite overwhelming, but finding the right partner is a good first step. Though theADD behaviors这可能会让你陷入困境，是您解决和管理的，并使用一个好的合作伙伴来解决这个问题变得更加容易。

In order for the关系茁壮成长，您必须与此人兼容。如果您想在长期保持关系，您还必须解决过去遇到麻烦的负面模式。

在离婚后开始或重新进入约会过程可以令人兴奋和惊心动魄，但它也可以充满不确定性，焦虑甚至拒绝。你怎么知道这个人是否是对你有好处的比赛？你怎么知道它是否是爱或只是新伴侣的兴奋？当你感到脆弱和生锈的时候，你如何打开自己潜在的心碎和情绪痛苦？

做一个列表

首先制作伴侣中价值的品质列表。在头脑风暴列表后，优先考虑每个质量，从最重要到最不重要。您在寻找将提供兴奋和高活动的人，还是您更喜欢稳定和低调的人？这个人与你的家人联系起来对你很重要吗？你想要这个人有什么价值？什么兴趣？

What are your relationship goals? Are you looking for fun and lighthearted companionship, or are you seeking a long-term relationship and life partner?

If you are currently dating someone, make a list of the qualities you like about this person. What initially attracted you to this person? Are there things about this person that bother you? Can you accept these qualities, or do you feel a nagging suspicion that as the relationship progresses, you may be less inclined to be accepting of them?

If this person also has ADD, are they involved in treatment and actively getting help in managing their own ADD symptoms? How do you feel around this person—happy and relaxed, or insecure and rather tense? Can you be yourself around this person? If you are looking for a life partner, is this someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life?

Enlist a Trusted Friend

有时它有助于坐下来与可信赖和支持性的朋友或家人才能通过这个过程来帮助您思考。一个人的人并不罕见，因为这种人与新的关系一样消耗，所有目标思想飞出了门。

当你在中间的情况下，你自己的感知可能会倾斜。您也可能会错过关于在内部派对的关系的重要线索或警示迹象，他们在心里最好的界限，更能够指出你。

查看您的关系历史

思考你的过去的关系,negative ones and the positive ones. What patterns are present? Do you tend to go full force into a relationship that fizzles out when the excitement of the “honeymoon” period dies down?

Do you have a pattern of choosing the wrong partner, because you don’t absorb all the social cues and warning signs others may see from the start? Do you have difficulty unwinding and connecting intimately?

你的冲动反应或吻心不受影响，让你陷入困境并推动你的伴侣吗？你最终破坏了这种关系，挑衅战斗或争论吗？你倾向于留在糟糕的关系中太长，希望那个人会改变吗？

制定积极的策略

Once you have identified past relationship problems, work on coming up with solutions. Areas that are often most difficult for individuals with ADD tend to center around deficits in self-control—distractibility and inattention within the relationship that may be perceived by a partner as uncaring, problems in regulating emotions and inhibiting behaviors that may lead to hurt or irritated feelings.

药物往往非常有效地降低这些症状的严重程度。此外，诸如自我谈话，角色扮演和练习积极互动等策略，越来越意识到情绪触发器并取得超时，可以帮助形成和维持健康的关系。

Practice Honest Communication

Good, open, honest communication is essential in any relationship. Be friends first. Continue to assess the progress in your relationship. Sit down together on a regular basis and talk about how the relationship is going.

建设性地和敏感的方式，解决了任何问题。解决方案重点，而不是藐视。尽量不要个性化负面反馈;相反，谈论事情如何不同，所以你们俩都感到高兴。如果你倾向于谈论很多，那么在你在一起时尝试少说话和倾听。在伴侣发言时保持目光接触。表现出兴趣，让他们知道你在乎。

将活动共同享受。热情地一起笑。慢慢来。不要急于关系。最强大的联系是基于良好，诚实的信任和尊重，只能随着时间的推移获得。