如何停止启用酗酒或瘾君子

如果您有一个有物质或酒精使用障碍的亲人，您可能已经听证过您可能是一个推动者。Al-Anonis an excellent organization that helps loved ones of people with alcohol use disorders not only cope with a loved one's alcohol misuse but addresses the role played by loved ones in enabling that behavior.

How can you know if you are being an enabler or if what you are doing is normal helping? If you find that you have been an enabler, how can you stop? If you're not sure, you may find it helpful to take this quiz to seewhether you are enabling。

It is important to learn the difference between enabling and helping. If you recognize that you are an enabler, you can explore some practical tips and examples on how to stop enabling an individual with an alcohol abuse problem.

启用VS帮助

努力帮助，朋友和家庭成员实际上使得误解酒精的人（例如给他们错误的类型gifts这可以实现他们的成瘾）。

Anything that you do thatdoesprotect the alcoholic or addict from the consequences of his or her actions, could be enabling him to delay a decision to get help for their problem. It's in their best interest if you stop whatever you are doing to enable them. Enabling is not helping.

如何停止启用Drug or Alcohol Misuse

You may realize at this point that you have been enabling your loved one with alcoholism (though you probably thought you were helping) and wonder how to change. In a way, learning to stop enabling another person's drug or alcohol misuse can be very empowering.

It may be helpful to remember that you can't change other people but youcan改变对这些人的行为和反应。以下是您今天可以停止成为推动者的几种实际方法。

Stop Actions That Allow the Behavior to Continue

Are you working and paying some of the bills that the alcoholic would be paying if they hadn't lost their job or missed time from work due to drinking? Or are you providing food and shelter for this person?

If so, you could be enabling. You are providing them with a "safety net" that allows them to lose or skip their job with no real consequences.

Don't Do Things They Can Do Themselves

If the person with an alcohol use problem has lost their license, giving them a ride to an A.A. meeting or job interview is helping because that is something they cannot do for themself. These are things the person cannot do on their own, so helping them can be a way of supporting their recovery efforts.

On the other hand, looking up the schedule of meetings in the area, researching the requirements for getting their license back, or searching the classified ads for employment opportunities are examples of enabling. These are all things that people should be doing for themselves.

Stop Making Excuses

你有没有这次谈话：“对不起，他们今天不能上班，他们拿起某种流感虫？”事实上，他们太挂了上班了？谈话正在实现，因为它允许酗酒避免他的行为的后果。

你可能会说，“但是，他们可能会失去工作！”失去工作可能只是需要发生的事情，以便他们决定得到帮助。

Do Not Take Over Responsibilities

你在家里做一些家务，那个喝酒的人用来用来做什么？您是否与您的孩子一起享受育儿责任，你们两个人常常分享？

不要贷款

如果您因任何原因向有酒精使用障碍的人提供资金，您可能也可以进入酒类商店并为他们购买他们的酒精。是的，为有饮酒问题的人购买酒精是有利的。这就是你最终做的，如果你给某人钱，无论他们说什么，他们打算用现金打算。

不要从法律困难中拯救他们

Rushing in to rescue someone may satisfy some personal desire you have to feel "needed," but it doesn't really help the situation. It only enables the alcoholic to avoid the consequences of their actions.

Do Not Scold, Argue, or Plead

你可能会认为当你责骂或解雇一个人的最新发作时，它是有史以来的，但它实际上可能是。如果他们对行动的唯一后果，那么来自关心他们的人有点“口头打屁股”，他们可以在没有面临任何重大后果的情况下滑动。

Do Not React

避免对他们的最新缺陷作出反应。如果你说或做一些消极的回应对方的最新错误，那么他们可以对你的反应作出反应。如果你保持安静，或者如果你继续你的生活，就像没有发生任何事情一样，那么他们就没有什么可以回应除了自己的行为。

Do Not Try to Drink With Them

家庭成员因为滥用酒精而被亲人遗弃而遗弃的家庭成员并不罕见。有些人的反应是尝试再次与酗酒的人一起喝酒再次成为他们世界的一部分。它很少有效。个人与酒精的关系是强大的。“普通饮酒者”很少跟上。

Explain Your Boundaries

One thing that members of Al-Anon learn is that they no longer have to accept unacceptable behavior in their lives. You may not be able to control the behavior of someone else, but you do have choices when it comes to what you find unacceptable.

Setting boundaries is something that you do for your benefit, not to try to control another person's behavior. In order to effectively do this, it's helpful to detach to some degree.Detaching让另一个人的酒精问题放在一体，让你更客观地看待这种情况。

当你Stop Being an Enabler

Many times when an enabling system is removed, the fear will force a person with an alcohol use problem to seek help, but there are no guarantees. This can be extremely difficult to accept.

Take some time to learn more about enabling and the familydisease of alcoholism，参加A.Al-Anon meetingin your area. It may also be helpful to learn more about the resources andinformation available for families affected by alcoholism。

Attending Al-Anon in person will help you feel more empowered as you stop enabling, and less alone in the process. Unfortunately, none of us can control what another will do.

Yet we do have the power to set boundaries and respect our own lives. Consider10件事情要停止，如果你喜欢酗酒that can help you take back your own life whether or not your alcoholic gives up drinking.