如果你与工作狂结婚,你可能会觉得你嫁给一个不忠的配偶,他们与他或她的工作取代亲密关系。独处的感觉,破碎的承诺,愤怒和失望的感觉,以及你不是很重要的信念都是相似的cheaters以及工作狂配偶。
这些问题(如果左侧未发生)可能会导致配偶不满或更糟糕divorce;事实上,根据Maureen Farrel的说法,他们在2007年禁止“所以你与工作狂结婚”,“平均而言,一个伴侣是一个合作伙伴的平均率的两倍。”
When one partner works excessively, he or she is not nurturing the marriage. It is also unhealthy to maintain a life that is so out of balance, which can easily put you on the road to infidelity or divorce. Sometimes it takes a wake-up call such as a personal or health crisis for the workaholic to snap out of this behavior. There are things you can do that won't have you waiting around for this to be the impetus for the change.
让您的婚姻与工作狂健康的提示
If you find yourself frustrated with your spouse's constant obsession with work, it's important to remember that even though you don't agree with his or her viewpoint on the issue, the situation itself puts you and your partner both under intense amounts of stress; as a result, conversations about being a workaholic should be approached cautiously and with compassion.
因为它可能是不骂你的配偶为他或她过度劳累的倾向而言,但唠叨不起作用。相反,占据了正弦的积极基调,你的配偶已经迟到或通过带来的工作回家而不是向你和你的孩子们来说。此外,您应该尝试停止启用您的配偶的工作狂行为 - 您可能会通过延迟家庭用餐,使孩子们更长时间,推迟活动或花费在物品和服务上,使您的配偶的需求或愿望能够实现,使孩子们更长,推迟活动你可以没有。
Instead, consider letting your spouse experience the consequences of working too much by serving dinner at the normal time and making your spouse eat the cold leftovers once he or she finally emerges, hours later, from work. If your spouse doesn't want to go out of the house with you, leave your spouse at home and take the kids to the movie, or if your spouse is too busy to take a few days off, take a weekend trip to visit family without your spouse—don't put your life or your children's lives on hold waiting for your spouse to make time for you.
Alternatively, you could try to entice your spouse out of work mode by suggesting an activity that you could both do together. Although this may be considered a bit manipulative, providing an opportunity that your spouse will enjoy could ease the tensions between you and allow for an honest discussion of the problems that are arising from your spouse's workaholic tendencies.
When to Seek Professional Help
解决与工作狂配偶相关的婚姻问题可能会感觉像一个不可逾越的任务,并且几乎不可能独自做。然而,幸运的是,心理学家和婚姻辅导员可以帮助调解您与您的重要人物之间的开放对话。
If your marriage is in serious trouble due to your spouse working too many hours, thenmarriage counselingcould be an option that will help. Even if you can simply get your spouse in for the initial therapy session, you may be able to help him or her to understand the gravity of the problem and the toll it's having on you and your relationship personally.
在这些会议期间,讨论设置边界是非常重要的,你们都同意这一点不仅可以帮助您的配偶克服他或她的工作狂行为,而且帮助您公开地互相沟通,并具有同情和同情。如果您的配偶同意与您甚至几个小时的一天,那么在您单独时间内会显着降低“晚餐时的手机”等边界。
In any case, the first step toward overcoming婚姻问题related to living with a workaholic spouse is to start a conversation, express how the behavior makes you feel, and work together toward an amicable compromise that leaves you feeling more appreciated and your spouse's need to work fulfilled.