10 Characteristics of a Healthy Sexual Relationship

It can be difficult for recovering sex addicts to know what a healthy intimate relationship feels like.

Maureen Canning, MA, LMFT is a child abuse survivor, recovered sex addict, and relationship therapist who identifies ten key characteristics of a healthy sexual relationship aftersex addictiontreatment in her bookLust, Anger, Love: Understanding Sexual Addiction and the Road to Healthy Intimacy.

1

Sex Provides a Feeling of Well-Being

Young man kissing a woman's forehead in bed

CarinaKönig/ Eyeem / Getty图像

Feelings of safety, connection, and affirmation occur in a healthy sexual relationship. It may take some time to move away from feelings of danger, disconnection, and shame, but it is worth the patience and perseverance.

2

Emotional and Physical Sensations Are Felt

在健康的亲密关系中,两个合作伙伴都意识到自己的情绪脆弱性和身体感觉。这些经历过,无需麻木或“追逐性高潮”。

3

Creativity and Passion Are Rediscovered

这不仅限于性活动,但可能是重新发现的真实创造活动,例如播放音乐,绘画或写作。性别不再需要成为情感表达的唯一的出口。

4

You Nurture Yourself in Non-Genital Ways

Healthy sexuality is not the exclusive channel for self-nurturance and is experienced more authentically if you regularly and deliberately experience pleasure in other ways. Find joy in physical and sensual activities like taking a hot bubble bath, enjoying a warm cup of tea, or dancing in the rain.

5

Suffering and Stress Are Tolerated as a Part of Life

Being able to cope with disappointment, tiredness, and difficulty without resorting to sexual relief is an important part of recovery. Other ways to cope include writing, listening to music, exercising, calling a friend, and doingrelaxation exercises.

6

You Can Be Emotionally Vulnerable

虽然性上瘾者恐惧背叛并使他们的感情免受脆弱性,以健康的亲密关系,你意识到脆弱性是与他人诚实地与别人相关联的群体。

7

You Develop and Maintain Healthy Boundaries With Others

Sexaddictshave difficulty with healthyboundaries,要么过于僵化,要么没有认识到边界的重要性,使两个人在关系中保持安全。发展健康的边界允许您同时脆弱和安全。

8

性行为平衡和温和

While sex addicts live in extremes of sexual energy, experiencing either full-on excessive sexual tension or repressed, walled-off sexual feelings, when you develop sexual maturity, you can control an appropriate flow of sexual energy.

9

You Are Curious and Caring About Other People's Reactions to You

而人们的年代ay personally and reacting emotionally, healthy intimacy allows you to try to understand what is going on for them. We all think and act differently, so open communication between you and others is the key to learning to empathize and understand others.

10

你学会相信别人

In overcoming sexual addiction, you must first focus on trusting yourself and learn to recognize your own truth. Then you can use healthy boundaries to keep yourself safe while trusting others' truths as you move through the stages of relationships.

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